Proclaimed by the Publishing industry as the Bad Boy of Romance, I started writing thirteen years ago. My erotic romances have been listed under the Night Owl Romance and Road to Romance’s Recommended read list, as well nominated for a CAPA by The Romance Studio.
I host the Unnamed Romance Show on Radio Dentata and continue to write for Sizzler Editions and Total E-bound. Readers can find my work, plus free reads at http://saschaillyvichauthor.com.
I edit for Sizzler Editions Intoxication Erotic Romance line and I’m also part of the WriteSex Panel, a blog group defining erotica for writers in any genre!
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Giving Yourself Over
By Sascha Illyvich
How easily are you tempted? Are you one who understands the pain/pleasure concept that speakers like Anthony Robbins apply to humanity? Did you ever stop to think about that in a sexual context?
Livia, in my 1Night Stand - Surrender to Love hasn't, at least not until her therapist suggests she learn to find control from within. As an artist, she must learn to look outside her inner world of fear and agoraphobic behavior to find more beauty and inspiration. The human being can only live vicariously for so long before life becomes boring and routine. Livia must learn like many of us that through denial, we cause ourselves pain but if we're willing to go the extra mile and push past what seems like pain, we can find immense pleasure. Trust is the key issue in this story, as is the exploration of true freedom. Imagine being tied down with only words that would be obeyed. Being spread open and kissed by your lover as he has you tied down and only your words and responses can control the situation.
This is the position Livia finds herself in after arranging to meet with someone using 1Night Stand. But her partner holds a secret too.
In order to cure the dreaded creative rut she’s in, Livia ends up in Las Vegas by suggestion from her therapist. Oh and there’s a catch. Livia ‘s been set up to have a one night stand with a very handsome man who promises her freedom through submission. Can she surrender to more than just passion?
I based this story on a real life heroine who is near and dear to my heart. Her presence made writing the story easier because I merely had to think about being in her shoes. Online and off, I'm such an enormous presence that sometimes I forget what it's like to be who I used to be. Shy, far from outgoing and in short, very reclusive. By my very nature as the Bad Boy of Romance, I place trust where it's needed, have fun as required, and flirt often. There's usually a large dose of drinking involved to help loosen tensions of meeting new people.
Livia only has a few drinks to start with, and then she goes to bed. One of the rare times when I wrote a character who didn't drink like I do, modifying the character to meet the needs of the story became a breeze. The culture shock from Colorado to Las Vegas swam around her head until Bruce stepped into the picture and, just like a larger than life God, offered her a choice. A very sensual choice.
Just like The Playground, the previous 1Night Stand I wrote, the reader is promised one hell of a sexy read.
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“I want to know true freedom. I’m tired of living this life where I’m afraid all the time and I don’t feel in control.” Livia stood from her chair, aware of the therapist’s intense gaze.
Dr. Gena tapped her pen on the yellow legal bad beside her but didn’t look up. “How do you fare with change, Livia?”
She shuddered visibly. Who was Dr. Gena kidding? Livia looked down at the beige carpet and blinked, speaking softly. “I don’t like it.”
“Because you can’t control things.”
“Yes.” Livia nodded and looked at her therapist. A cream-colored top stretched over the doctor’s figure while a pair of gray suit pants hugged motherly hips. Her hair was held up by pins, exposing a slender neckline. A little makeup helped take off years and the cool stare Dr. Gena gave her showed more wisdom than the average person. “Because I have no control.”
Dr. Gena looked up from her notes and twirled the pen around her fingers. “Have you considered the idea that maybe you can ride the change, letting it take you to new experiences, while you control how you behave, how you respond to it?”
Was her therapist insane? Livia wrung her hands together. “No.”
“Then maybe it’s time you look into the idea of moving beyond what and who you think you are. If the dead no longer help you, then they only serve to weigh you down.”
It became harder to breath suddenly. Her past wasn’t anything special, it just was. A life of fear of going outside, of being around other people, and not being understood.
Dr. Gena rose and set a hand on Livia’s chin. With a little pressure, she tipped Livia’s eyes to meet hers. “You truly are a strong woman. You’ve survived a lot in your lifetime. I have some friends in Las Vegas I can recommend you to. It will be a shock to your system, but I think you’ll adjust pretty quickly, given what we’ve discussed in your sessions over the last few years.”
She gasped, exhaling the breath she didn’t realize she’d held. The idea was ludicrous! Her? Move out of her sleepy, one-horse town and into a den of iniquity? She began chewing her lower lip.
“You’re asking me to uproot my entire life? Here and now, to leave Colorado and move to Las Vegas?”
Dr. Gena nodded. Her expression warmed and she cocked her head slightly to one side, offering compassion to Livia. “Some of the toughest things I’ve ever asked of you as a patient have brought about surprising results. You’ve made a home for yourself. You’re a successful artist.
My male secretary no longer frightens you.”
The corners of Livia’s lips turned upward. “Yeah.”
“There’s the twinkle in your eye. You know you do that often when I’m right?”
An eyebrow rose. “Yeah?”
Dr. Gena nodded again. “Yup. Moving to Las Vegas will help you gain control over your life. As I said, I have some friends who can help you. I’ll make phone calls tomorrow and set things up.
Besides, what you probably need is a good fuck.”
Livia’s eyes widened in abject horror. “You want me to what?”
Dr. Gena’s released Livia’s chin and sat back down. Her tone remained static though Livia detected a hint of amusement in her voice. “You need to learn the adult world now. You’re ready for this.”
She couldn’t believe how nonchalant her therapist had just been with what she’d proposed.
“You’re suggesting I go out and find a man. I’ve never done something like that and—”
“No, I’m suggesting something I’ll set you up with. And the stranger will be vetted just like you will be.” Dr. Gena’s lips pursed together in a thin line. “Any man you’ll meet in Las Vegas will either be a charmer, a bastard, a drunk, or a cheater. At least with this service you’ll know ahead of time what to expect. You’re no virgin, but you’re new to life. And this experience will change you.”
Her eyes narrowed. She stamped her foot. “I don’t want change. I want control!”
The therapist leaned back and crossed one leg over the other. She met Livia’s gaze. “You’ll have total control. Trust me.”
Livia continued chewing her lip. Thoughts spun around wildly in her head. What if she screwed up? She couldn’t possibly recover from embarrassment like that. She’d never had a good lover.
The few she’d taken in the past had been mediocre at best. Since the last one two years ago, she hadn’t had another sexual experience.
Dr. Gena continued, “It’s not the only way to regain control over your life, and learn to go outside of yourself. But it is a primal way. What,” she paused, tapped her pad, “I mean to say is that you’re an artist. Don’t you use life experiences to create? And haven’t you been in a slump lately?”
Livia nodded slowly. She saw where this was going and hated her therapist for being right. “Yes, but those experiences I’ve been able to mimic. To pull from other sources—”
Dr. Gena leaned forward, setting a hand on Livia’s shoulder. “And not get hurt in the process. Therefore you don’t learn, you don’t grow. Who knows? You might not get hurt from this.”
Tension formed in Livia’s body.
Her therapist’s light touch eased some of that stress from her. “I know you can do this.”
Livia swallowed the lump in her throat. She could do this. She could regain control of her life, starting with sex. That made sense, right? Somewhere in the back of her twisted mind, it had to.
Slowly, the doctor pulled away from Livia, running her hand through her patient’s thick brown curls before setting both hands on her shoulders. Then she looked her straight in the eyes. “I think you’re ready for the world, babycakes.”