Today I would like to welcome to the blog author Jana Richards. Jana is on tour promoting her book Home Fires, and has stopped by today to chat about love at first sight. Before I give the floor over to Jana, lets get to know her some.
Jana Richards has tried her hand at many writing projects over the years, from magazine articles and short stories to full-length paranormal suspense and romantic comedy. She loves to create characters with a sense of humor, but also a serious side. She believes there’s nothing more interesting then peeling back the layers of a character to see what makes them tick.
When not writing up a storm, working at her day job as an Office Administrator, or dealing with ever present mountains of laundry, Jana can be found on the local golf course pursuing her newest hobby.
Jana lives in Western Canada with her husband Warren, and a highly spoiled Pug/Terrier cross named Lou.
Places to find Jana:
Love at First Sight
Is there such a thing as love at first sight? Romance novels are full of examples where a man and a woman see each other for the first time and fall instantly in love. But is that real love or something else?
According to Psychology Today, 60% of Americans believe in love at first sight and 50% believe they have experienced it. But if love at first sight is only about what we see, aren’t we basing feelings we call love on just the physical attractiveness of the other person?
The scenario goes something like this: you enter a room crowded with people and check out the lay of the land. Within seconds, you scan the faces of potential love partners, dismissing those you deem unacceptable, usually because you do not find them attractive. You then take a much closer look at the potential love interests that remain, and again eliminate most of them because they don’t live up to your standard of attractiveness. Eventually, one person remains in the running. According to Molly Edmonds at howstuffworks.com, we usually know within three minutes that we are attracted to another person, and that they will be in our lives for a while.
But if “love at first sight” is based solely on attractiveness, does it last? Again, according to Psychology Today, the answer is probably not. An initial attraction will send all kinds of feel-good neurotransmitters coursing through our veins, causing physiological arousal. But feeling initial attraction and arousal at first sight doesn’t always mean we will have a long lasting, satisfying relationship.
At this point in my research I was pretty much convinced that real love at first sight doesn’t exist. I believed that what people were feeling when they talked about this phenomena was probably more like lust at first sight, or maybe infatuation. But then I started reading amazing accounts on different websites from people who usually started out by saying “I didn’t believe in love at first sight till it happened to me.” Here are a few examples:
“There was no retrospective pondering. There was no confusion on the difference between love and lust. It was what it was. And even a hopelessly sardonic person such as myself simply couldn’t deny the reality of it. I knew I loved this guy. The moment I saw him.”
“When I first saw him a while back, I literally grabbed my chest because I physically felt my heart give one tremendous beat. I’d never been so immediately drawn to someone…. the way he spoke, his demeanor, the way he walked, what he talked about…everything. I felt that I’d already known him somehow and immediately felt so comfortable. I felt automatically connected to him…attached.”
“I …felt the oddest sense of recognition, although I knew we had never met. We were introduced very briefly and my tour continued. I was barely ten steps down the hallway when I had the most powerful urge to run back, throw my arms around him and tell him that it was okay, I was here now, I loved him and I was never going to leave him…This was in no way lust. I felt like I could see his heart and soul, and while his face was pretty his spirit left me speechless!”
I think the most striking thing is that most of these people talk about a feeling of recognition, as if they’ve met this person before. They have a sense of knowing everything about them before they even speak. Most talk about not being able to take their eyes off this person, and of wanting to be with them, rather than simply wanting to have sex with them.
But even though these feelings were strong and immediate, many reported that when they began a relationship with the person they felt such an immediate connection with, it was often rocky, and it didn’t always last. However, Arron Ben-Zeév, PhD, in his article “In the Name of Love”, says: “The fact that such types of love may perish does not mean that they were not instances of true love. Time is not an exclusive measure for true love.”
Maybe love at first sight does exist, but for a long-lasting, happy relationship to take place, we have to take the next step. We have to learn about the person, and discover if our values and beliefs are similar. Once our initial attraction is backed up by the knowledge that our beloved possesses admirable traits that we deem important, then we’re on our way to a love that will last a lifetime.
What do you think? Is there such a thing as love at first sight?
Badly wounded and scarred during the war, Erik Gustafson thinks he’s a poor substitute for his brother. Although he loves Anne almost from the first time he sees her, he cannot believe she would ever be able to love him as he is – especially as he might be after another operation on his bad leg. Anne sees the beauty of his heart. The cold prairie winter may test her courage, but can she prove to Erik that her love for him is real?
Places to Purchase:
| Wild Rose Press |
“You’re a lot stronger than you look.”
She laughed, the first genuine sound of amusement he’d heard from her. “Probably comes from spending the war lifting men twice my size.”
“Anders said you were a nurse. Are you planning to continue nursing now that the war is over?”
Her smile disappeared. “I hope not. I’ve seen enough misery to last me the rest of my life.”
He nodded. After witnessing the blood bath at Dieppe, he knew exactly what she meant.
“How far is it to the house?” she asked.
Erik leaned on his cane. “Not far. Wait. You’ve got dried leaves stuck in your hair.”
He pulled the offending leaves from her hair, letting his hand linger on the silky tresses. She looked up at him, her dark brown eyes huge and round. But she didn’t move or stop him from touching her. With her porcelain skin and fine bone structure, she looked like a delicate English rose, yet he detected a strength in her that would put any man to shame.
“We should go,” she whispered.
Erik dropped his hand. What was he doing? This beautiful English rose was still in love with his brother. His handsome, fit, unscarred brother. She didn’t want him.
He’d do well to remember that. He’d already been rejected by one beautiful English girl because of his scars. Another rejection would be more than he could bear.
Want to win some goodies from Jana? Check out what's up for grabs.
Up for grabs:
- 1 lucky commenter from the ENTIRE tour will win a $25 Amazon Gift Card
- Answer the question: What do you think? Is there such a thing as love at first sight?
- Please leave your email address along with your comment to be entered.
- Giveaway ends July 13th.
Good Luck =)