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Monday, January 23, 2012

Guest Post with Author J.B. Lynn and Giveaway

Today I would like to welcome to the blog author J. B. Lynn. JB is currently on tour promoting her new release Confessions Of A Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman. So without further ado, here's JB

Thanks so much for having me!

Today I’m going to talk about what inspired me to write CONFESSIONS OF A SLIGHTLY NEUROTIC HITWOMAN, my book about an ordinary woman in training to become a hitwoman.

A few years ago the following sentence popped into my head: You just know it’s going to be a bad day when you’re stuck at a red light and Death pulls up behind you in a station wagon.

I absolutely loved it, but I had no idea what it meant. I wrote the sentence down in my idea notebook and revisited it a few times, but the story didn’t magically materialize in my mind.

A year later, when a dangerous and inconsiderate driver cut me off in traffic, I indulged in a brief moment of vindictive daydreaming about how I’d like to follow him home and kill him in the manner he deserved.

Harsh, I know, but if you had seen how this driver was endangering the lives of everyone on the road, you’d understand. As I had that horrible thought, the sentence I’d written a year earlier popped into my head and I began to weave the two together. I started thinking about what kinds of things would drive a woman to become a contract killer.

In Maggie Lee’s case, she’s desperate to earn enough money to provide her hospitalized niece with the best medical care. Still, that wouldn’t be enough to turn her into a cold-hearted killer…but what if the man she’s asked to kill is a murderer?

Excited about my idea, I went home and started talking it out. Aloud.

My parrot, Sam, watched me intently, seeming to hang on my every word.

“What do you think, Sam?” I asked.

Sam doesn’t speak, but he does mimic my laugh quite well.

“Ah,” I said, understanding my feathered friend. “You think I should make the story funny.”

He bobbed his head up-and-down, as he is inclined to do when he’s excited.

“And I should include a talking animal?”

More head bobbing.

At that moment, I was glad I was home alone, so that no one else could witness the exchange, since they would have thought (and rightly so) that I was nuts. And that, I realized was the third part of the puzzle...Maggie has suffered a head injury, which results in her being able to talk to her niece’s pet lizard, Godzilla (God for short) but also has her worried she’s losing her grip on reality as she slips into the world of contract killing.

So that’s the genesis of CONFESSIONS OF A SLIGHTLY NEUROTIC HITWOMAN. The book even opens with that inspired line, “You just know it’s going to be a bad day when you’re stuck at a red light and Death pulls up behind you in a station wagon.”

Of course, like Maggie’s story, how much of it do you really believe? ;-)

Maggie Lee is not your average hitwoman. For one thing, she’s never killed anyone. For another, after hitting her head in the car accident that killed her sister, her best friend is now a talking lizard--a picky eater obsessed with Wheel of Fortune.

Maggie, who can barely take care of herself, is desperate to help her injured and orphaned niece get the best medical care possible, so she accepts a mobster’s big cash offer to kill his son-in-law.

Paired with Patrick Mulligan, a charming murder mentor (who happens to moonlight as a police detective), Maggie stumbles down her new career path, contending with self-doubt, three meddling aunts, a semi-psychic friend predicting her doom, and a day job she hates. Oh, and let’s not forget about Paul Kowalski, the sexy beat cop who could throw her ass in jail if he finds out what she’s up to.

Places to purchase:

Most little girls dream of puppies, ponies and Prince Charming, but I grew up to write about murder, mayhem, and the killer next door.

I love stories. I love reading them and I love writing them.

Ever since I picked up my first crayon, I've been spinning tales in one form or another. I've published articles in magazines and on websites, short stories in print and online, and even optioned a screenplay.

Although fascinated by the dark and twisted, I'm also a sucker for tales of love conquering all. These dual interests show up in my stories as creepy, dangerous villains, and the heroines and heroes who must defeat them.

I write with a parrot peering over my shoulder and a dog curled up at my feet. When not writing, I spend the bulk of my time reading, cooking, training for half marathons (I walk more than I run, so don't go being all impressed) and playing Scrabble with my husband. (He tends to win more often than I do...I think he cheats!)

An admitted coffeeholic, I don't really care if the cup is half empty or half full...I just want to know whether it's regular or decaf!

Places to find JB:
| Site | Blog | Twitter


JB Lynn will be giving away a $25 gift certificate to 1 randomly drawn commenter during the tour. So make sure to check out all of JB Lynn's stops to increase your chances of winning. 

*Giveaway open until January 27th
*Must leave a comment along with your email address


  1. Love this! Love the story! Love that line! LOL
    Can't wait to meet Maggie!:)
    and yes, we've all fantazised about killing someone when we're stuck in traffic!; ) LOL
    Especially when u're running late.. 8-)


  2. I love how you came up with this story. Can't wait to read it. =o)

  3. Ever since my first Jennie Crusie story, I have loved stories that I can giggle at as I read them. I can hardly wait to read yours.

  4. Thanks for making me laugh on a dreary Monday morning! Loved the bit with the parrot. :) The book sounds funny, too.
    Thanks for the giveaway!

    claudigc at msn dot com

  5. Thanks so much for having me here.

    B.E. -- My mind works in mysterious ways, lol.

    MomJane -- This story has plenty of giggles. Do you have a favorite Crusie book?

    Claudia -- It's always good to start your Monday with a laugh. My parrot is a wise, wise bird. ;-)

  6. Thanks for an awesome post! I stumbled upon this book on Amazon and I promptly preorderd it! :)

    I'm really looking forward to it as the premise sounds hysterical!

  7. Lol, this is a fun post, and I sure want to read this book! I also have a parrot, and when I am laughing, or people on tv, he joins in. For the rest, only a few words.

  8. Erin -- Thanks for pre-ordering! Hope you enjoy it

    Aurian -- Can your parrot imitate the phone ringing? Mine does and sometimes I jump up to answer it, lol.

  9. Hi JB,

    You are a new-to-me author and after reading your post today, I know I'm going to enjoy following your book tour this week. Your book sounds like a really good.

    If it were to be made into a film, who do you see playing the lead characters?

    kareninnc at gmail dot com

  10. Hi Karen,

    Great question! If you'd asked me when I was writing the book, I would have cast Katherine Heigl in the lead. But since she's playing Stephanie Plum and a number of readers have compared my book to those written by Janet Evanovich, I guess I have to choose someone else.

    I'd cast Laura Prepon
    as Maggie, the incomparable Alan Rickman as Godzilla, and Damian Lewis as Patrick.

  11. thanks for a great post and giveaway!!

  12. Congratulations on the book! The book sounds very interesting.


  13. Mrs.Billy Graham,once said "There were days that I wanted to kill my husband ,but never divorce.

  14. forgot my email

  15. I'm so glad you did not have to resort to murder. I know I'm going to love this book.


  16. Thanks so much everyone.

    Marybelle -- How do you KNOW I didn't resort to murder??? ;-)

  17. My hubby and I play Scrabble too!

    Love the premise of your book. I, too, have had visions of targeting those crazy, dangerous drivers. My fantasy is a nationwide system of those rubber suction dart guns. When a car does something dangerous, something like cutting you off dangerously close, you get to dart the car. When the car gets a pre-determined number of darts, it can go only a few more miles before stopping (and can't be restarted). My original fantasy was that the vehicles would spontaneously combust...but that just seemed too mean! Of course, the darts can only be removed by licensed certifying stations--after you've had "corrective" driving instruction. LOL...I'm laughing just thinking about this convoluted fantasy! I guess reckless drivers make us all a bit crazy!


  18. What can I say? The description of this book sounds fantastic. I hope I win:) Good luck with your tour!


  19. This sounds like such a great book would love to read it! Im always looking for new Authors and books!
    Thanks fun the fun blog tour!